One of the fun things of PTSD is trying to remember! This morning while trying to get ready for work I came up with the perfect thing to blog about today. Something to do with marriage, I think, that's just it, I don't remember. I planned on coming straight to work and quickly blogging than adding my son's mission blog with his email. I should never plan on that, for once I get to work things explode and most thoughts that once resided in my noggin are simply......gone. Sigh.
My son is doing good in New York State. He is struggling with low numbers and personal issues that as I mentioned last post, he gets from his mother, grandmother - yeah we are a line of worriers. Not that it ever has done us any good yet we just don't seem to be able to stop. One of these days! I'm hopeful. =] For those catching this that would like to catch up with my boy you can find him on myzengermissionary.blogspot.com .
One of the other day to day things to work through is being satisfied with what you can get done in a day. For those like me, recovering perfectionist, that compete against yourselves and try to be ahead of the game - catch mistakes before others, get things accomplished before the holiday so you can take a holiday - yeah those things. I know most people are hard on themselves and have to work on "list" issues like marking off the things you accomplished today. Yes at the beginning of counseling 6 yrs ago I did those lists and the most accomplished some days was "I got out of bed". These days when you feel better and think you might be headed towards "normal - your old self", you have to accept that you aren't. That what you once could accomplish in a day is gone and new standards have to be set and you have to be okay with that. If I told myself I was not as accomplished or competent as I once was (which I did at one time) than I would also be adding self esteem issues to the mix. It simply has to do with not being able to multi-task like I used to. Multi-tasking takes more energy than I possess and when you want to sleep at night, energy is a necessary commodity.
When I remember what it was I was originally supposed to type here, maybe I'll come back. =]
Paix
